Deep in the backwoods, a woman named Noeva went into labor in the middle of the night, and the MadDoctor was called in to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, MadDoc handed Brembo a lantern and said "Here you %$#@*&^, hold this high so I can see what I'm doing. Noeva has never heard of personal hygiene, and it's a jungle down there!"
Soon, a baby boy named Uody, was brought into the world.
"Whoa there," said MadDoc. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I can't see clearly through the moss and vines, but I think there's another one comin'. Sh!t, just what we need, another creature from the black lagoon!"
Sure enough, with in a few minutes, an enormous gas bubble burst, and out came a baby girl named Bremba!
"No, no, no, you $%#^ing IDIOT! I said don't be in a hurry to put the lantern down...It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried MadDoc as he dropped to his knees crying and gaging from the stench.
Brembo scratched his "jewels", sniffed his finger, then scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked MadDoc,
"Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"....
Brembo's Childbirthing Experience...
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Gaming-Module
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Michigan
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Gaming-Module
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Michigan
MadDoc was trying to regain composure. He knew from the bodily noises and erruptions, that he didn't have much time...
MadDoc yelled out the window to the fellow that was temporarily living in the outhouse, "Randy!, Get in here with the toilet paper and dynamite! Quick!!"
But it was too late. Another gas bubble emerged. This one had a green fluorescent tint to it. Brembo started scratching again. The "fruits" of his labor reminded him to clean the grime from under his finger nails.
Scraping his nails on his teeth, Brembo smiled! He now remembered that he hadn't changed his socks in nearly 13 months, since he had to remove his shoes to add up how many times that he and his sister Noeva had slipped out behind the barn trying to produce hybrid off spring.
He had been saving that toe-jam for a special ocassion, and tonight was the night!
"Schwaeet success" Brembo belowed as he admired the raisin like object before putting in between his cheek and gum.
The phosphorous bubble burst just as Randy came rushing through the door!
MadDoc stumbed over the bed pan, kicked the spittoon, and hit his head on Bremba's pants that were standing up in the corner. He was knocked out cold!
Randy was in a state of shock. For a second, he thought he was blind. Wiping the film residue from his face, he finally could see.
Or had he died!?
Staring at him was the ugliest thing he had saw in his life, except for the time he had walked in on Noeva dressing.
The gender could not be determined on the horror that he stared at in awe.
"Macho Module!" cried Brembo as he grabbed the deformed part human, part goat, part lemour and part Chihuahua, baby that had just emerged after the fog settled a bit.
MadDoc yelled out the window to the fellow that was temporarily living in the outhouse, "Randy!, Get in here with the toilet paper and dynamite! Quick!!"
But it was too late. Another gas bubble emerged. This one had a green fluorescent tint to it. Brembo started scratching again. The "fruits" of his labor reminded him to clean the grime from under his finger nails.
Scraping his nails on his teeth, Brembo smiled! He now remembered that he hadn't changed his socks in nearly 13 months, since he had to remove his shoes to add up how many times that he and his sister Noeva had slipped out behind the barn trying to produce hybrid off spring.
He had been saving that toe-jam for a special ocassion, and tonight was the night!
"Schwaeet success" Brembo belowed as he admired the raisin like object before putting in between his cheek and gum.
The phosphorous bubble burst just as Randy came rushing through the door!
MadDoc stumbed over the bed pan, kicked the spittoon, and hit his head on Bremba's pants that were standing up in the corner. He was knocked out cold!
Randy was in a state of shock. For a second, he thought he was blind. Wiping the film residue from his face, he finally could see.
Or had he died!?
Staring at him was the ugliest thing he had saw in his life, except for the time he had walked in on Noeva dressing.
The gender could not be determined on the horror that he stared at in awe.
"Macho Module!" cried Brembo as he grabbed the deformed part human, part goat, part lemour and part Chihuahua, baby that had just emerged after the fog settled a bit.
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Gaming-Module
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Hey, my story was perverted, granted, but I had no part of the subsequent story line, don't put it back on me just because you traced the family tree back to the root. 
This whole "so and so begat so and so" thing is so twisted now, and it's not MY fault!
To blame: Noevo, Ken, MadDoctor, Randy, Macho-Module and Brembo.
Okay, now that said, what happened next? Who f-cked whom and gave birth to what?
This whole "so and so begat so and so" thing is so twisted now, and it's not MY fault!
To blame: Noevo, Ken, MadDoctor, Randy, Macho-Module and Brembo.
Okay, now that said, what happened next? Who f-cked whom and gave birth to what?
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Gaming-Module
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Michigan
Qwijib0y had been hiding under the bed, scared and fapping with the memories of he and ghostie frolicking naked and running around the old nuclear dump and toxic waste site. Their bodies locked together and glowing on that moonless night.
Suddenly, he snapped to life at the cries of Bremba, Uody, Macho Module and Mad Doc, who was coming around finally. The putrid smell in the room reminded him that he hadn't had supper yet.
He wanted cheese! And his Aunt Mother Noeva made the best Fummunda Cheese around! She always had a nice handful "hanging" around for him, keeping it warm.
Randy had siezed the opportunity and gave MadDoc a milk moustache while doc was laying spread out in the corner from the blow taked by his head, and given to Randy.
Noeva lifts her head up as Qwijib0y says "Aunt Mamma Noeva, can I have some fummunda cheese?"
Noeva belches and inhales deeply, then says, "Hurry and run over to your Aunt Blebs house and get DrDoug! MadDoc looks like he wants seconds and yer daddy has gone out side for a little quality time alone with his new daughter Bremba."
Qwijib0y quickly pulls up Ghosties underwear that he had kept for a keep sake and his britches, out from under the bed he shot!
Noeva yelled " Qwijib0y, you had better clean that off the wall before yor daddy smells it and comes a running!"
Qwijib0y quickly gives the wall a quick wipe with his hand and heads for the door. Finger licking good!, he thought as he licked his thumb and made double time to fetch DrDoug...
Suddenly, he snapped to life at the cries of Bremba, Uody, Macho Module and Mad Doc, who was coming around finally. The putrid smell in the room reminded him that he hadn't had supper yet.
He wanted cheese! And his Aunt Mother Noeva made the best Fummunda Cheese around! She always had a nice handful "hanging" around for him, keeping it warm.
Randy had siezed the opportunity and gave MadDoc a milk moustache while doc was laying spread out in the corner from the blow taked by his head, and given to Randy.
Noeva lifts her head up as Qwijib0y says "Aunt Mamma Noeva, can I have some fummunda cheese?"
Noeva belches and inhales deeply, then says, "Hurry and run over to your Aunt Blebs house and get DrDoug! MadDoc looks like he wants seconds and yer daddy has gone out side for a little quality time alone with his new daughter Bremba."
Qwijib0y quickly pulls up Ghosties underwear that he had kept for a keep sake and his britches, out from under the bed he shot!
Noeva yelled " Qwijib0y, you had better clean that off the wall before yor daddy smells it and comes a running!"
Qwijib0y quickly gives the wall a quick wipe with his hand and heads for the door. Finger licking good!, he thought as he licked his thumb and made double time to fetch DrDoug...
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Gaming-Module
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2001 12:00 am
- Location: Michigan
As Ken looked at the Vicodin bottle, he was pleased to see another 28 pills. What was this??? 4 more refills [score]? With that… Ken slammed down another pill and wobbled to the keyboard. Life was so much more interesting when under the influence of narcotics. So many stories to tell and plenty of time to tell them.
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got this reply... "Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her..." "And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother!" "Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter." "Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather."
"Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got this reply... "Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her..." "And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother!" "Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter." "Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather."
"Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"
People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I was curious as to how Ken knew so much about our family. SO, I did a little digging. While at my family physician for my annual deworming I asked him if he knew anything of my "familys" origin. Dr. Doolittle stared horrified at me for a second and then he calmly spoke "Noeva my friend, the facts surrounding you and yours have become legend in the medical and scientific fields for quite some time." This of course was a bit of a surprise to me. I had always thought our history was quite secretive. "Could you tell me about it" I sheeply asked. "I know as far back as ghost and his sister, but nothing before that. Could you fill me in as to what happened previous to that horrific night?" Dr. Doolittle, holding back an obvious laugh, responded in what I found to be a quite disturbing manner "lol if you think what happened from ghost to this point in time, i'm not sure you are ready for what led up to that point".
The final worm removed, a wonderful feeling by the way, I payed my bill as usual and started to leave. But I could not leave well enough alone. I had to know more. So I set up a meeting with the good Dr. so I could find out. We planned to meet later that afternoon in his office. I had four hours to kill which worked out well since I wanted a chance to get myself some liquid courage before hearing what he had to say.
To Be Continued...
The final worm removed, a wonderful feeling by the way, I payed my bill as usual and started to leave. But I could not leave well enough alone. I had to know more. So I set up a meeting with the good Dr. so I could find out. We planned to meet later that afternoon in his office. I had four hours to kill which worked out well since I wanted a chance to get myself some liquid courage before hearing what he had to say.
To Be Continued...
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients. However, a little voice in his head said "Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so its not like you're the first..." This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said, "... but they probably weren't veterinarians"
People will forget what you said... and people will forget what you did... but people will never forget how you made them feel.
The time for my meeting with Dr. Doolittle had arrived. I was queasy with anticipation. Or was it the bottle of johnny walker I had just downed? I arrived at the office a few minutes before our scheduled time and was told by the nurse that the doctor would see me shortly. Those words always send a shooting pain through my body. No pain however could prepare me for what I soon learned.
The doctor greeted me and it was apparent that he had needed some liquid courage also. We staggered back to his office and sat down, somewhere a monkey was throwing a fit. We began with idle chit chat. Both of us fearing what was coming, the truth. "Are you sure you want to know all of it?" he asked, knowing full well that I did. He was stalling. This made me fear what was coming even more. "Might as well know it all if I know any of it." I told him trying to crack a smile but failing. My heart was now beating faster than a jack rabbit on speed screws.
So it began.
I was told that ghost was the result of an chance encounter at a trekkie convention. It seems the rumors of Brent and Prey were true. ghost was conceived during a 5 minute break between guest speakers in a broom closet. Horrified already, I told him to go on.
I was now past the point of turning back. The inital shock over, I dove headlong into what the doctor was saying. mindless of that damn monkey that kept making noise nearby.
It seems Brent and Prey were not quite as related as the rest of us, but from them up the tree grows closer together. Prey, as it happens, was birthed by EvilAngel and Downhill. No one knows for sure which one did the birthing. Brent was born from BMED and Indy. Now there lines cross a little more closely as both BMED and Indy were born by the same person. As were Downhill and EvilAngel. The story goes that one night in the caribean sea Ken was out on a 3 hour tour and was met by some very bad people. the end result of this "boarding" was that he gave birth to two half-human half-whale babies. BMED and Indy.
EvilAngel and downhill were not so planned either. There "father" had no clue what was about to happen to his life. While trying to organize some people together on a large project, he ran into some resistance in the form of a human, but obviously not. Approx. 9 months later Philip gave a long and painful birth to Downhill and EvilAngel. Now, this is where are story takes a twist that not even Dr. Doolittle can explain much of. It seems that Ken and Philip had a few "chance encounters" of their own. From this was born the legend of a man named Bouncer. No more info was avavilable on this man. A dark and mysterious (or ashamed) man obviously.
My head swimming from all the information I had just digested, among other things, I need to ask one more question of the tiring Doctor. I gathered my courage, what was left of it anyway and asked the question. "Where did Ken and Philip come from?" The doctor stared into space and I wasn't sure he heard me, but he had. After a pause that seemed like an eternity his eyes lifted and met mine. And he spoke. "Noeva, all the branches can be traced back to one man. A once proud man, and still wise man." He stopped talking as if he had heard something. I urged him to go on. I was one name away from know our full history, as much as anyone can at this point. I wasn't about to stop now. After some prodding and a few greenbacks to ease his tongue the doctor appeared ready to speak again. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the chair and opened his mouth. Nearby a monkey cried. the doctor spoke this one word. One word that will last forever in the minds of many. The word?
"minir".
the end?
The doctor greeted me and it was apparent that he had needed some liquid courage also. We staggered back to his office and sat down, somewhere a monkey was throwing a fit. We began with idle chit chat. Both of us fearing what was coming, the truth. "Are you sure you want to know all of it?" he asked, knowing full well that I did. He was stalling. This made me fear what was coming even more. "Might as well know it all if I know any of it." I told him trying to crack a smile but failing. My heart was now beating faster than a jack rabbit on speed screws.
So it began.
I was told that ghost was the result of an chance encounter at a trekkie convention. It seems the rumors of Brent and Prey were true. ghost was conceived during a 5 minute break between guest speakers in a broom closet. Horrified already, I told him to go on.
I was now past the point of turning back. The inital shock over, I dove headlong into what the doctor was saying. mindless of that damn monkey that kept making noise nearby.
It seems Brent and Prey were not quite as related as the rest of us, but from them up the tree grows closer together. Prey, as it happens, was birthed by EvilAngel and Downhill. No one knows for sure which one did the birthing. Brent was born from BMED and Indy. Now there lines cross a little more closely as both BMED and Indy were born by the same person. As were Downhill and EvilAngel. The story goes that one night in the caribean sea Ken was out on a 3 hour tour and was met by some very bad people. the end result of this "boarding" was that he gave birth to two half-human half-whale babies. BMED and Indy.
EvilAngel and downhill were not so planned either. There "father" had no clue what was about to happen to his life. While trying to organize some people together on a large project, he ran into some resistance in the form of a human, but obviously not. Approx. 9 months later Philip gave a long and painful birth to Downhill and EvilAngel. Now, this is where are story takes a twist that not even Dr. Doolittle can explain much of. It seems that Ken and Philip had a few "chance encounters" of their own. From this was born the legend of a man named Bouncer. No more info was avavilable on this man. A dark and mysterious (or ashamed) man obviously.
My head swimming from all the information I had just digested, among other things, I need to ask one more question of the tiring Doctor. I gathered my courage, what was left of it anyway and asked the question. "Where did Ken and Philip come from?" The doctor stared into space and I wasn't sure he heard me, but he had. After a pause that seemed like an eternity his eyes lifted and met mine. And he spoke. "Noeva, all the branches can be traced back to one man. A once proud man, and still wise man." He stopped talking as if he had heard something. I urged him to go on. I was one name away from know our full history, as much as anyone can at this point. I wasn't about to stop now. After some prodding and a few greenbacks to ease his tongue the doctor appeared ready to speak again. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the chair and opened his mouth. Nearby a monkey cried. the doctor spoke this one word. One word that will last forever in the minds of many. The word?
"minir".
the end?
Well done Noevo/a
But you didn't quite finish...how daddy Minir came to be...
I recall the gorry details that me daddy Minir told me of his beginnings...
Many years ago, on an isolated island, far, far away, in a land that time forgot, there was 7 stranded castaways...
Hell_Yes, Mouse, Kip, Lobo, TonyT, Humboldt and Mrs Thurston Howell the 69th...
Out of the menagerie, barbaric and neanderthal sex games became the norm. Norm became the 8th inhabitant of the isle...
Evolution and revolution inspired the group to pair off and forage to the distant corners of the isle...
Hell_Yes and TonyT both had eyes for Kip, who was having an affair with Lobo and the young Norm. Norm had a quick fling with an outsider named Gilligan. Mouse and Mrs Howell kept to themselves...The entire group enjoyed the fruits of Humboldt, whose main interests were trapping and breeding the local rodent population to ensure a good healthy food supply...
But you didn't quite finish...how daddy Minir came to be...
I recall the gorry details that me daddy Minir told me of his beginnings...
Many years ago, on an isolated island, far, far away, in a land that time forgot, there was 7 stranded castaways...
Hell_Yes, Mouse, Kip, Lobo, TonyT, Humboldt and Mrs Thurston Howell the 69th...
Out of the menagerie, barbaric and neanderthal sex games became the norm. Norm became the 8th inhabitant of the isle...
Evolution and revolution inspired the group to pair off and forage to the distant corners of the isle...
Hell_Yes and TonyT both had eyes for Kip, who was having an affair with Lobo and the young Norm. Norm had a quick fling with an outsider named Gilligan. Mouse and Mrs Howell kept to themselves...The entire group enjoyed the fruits of Humboldt, whose main interests were trapping and breeding the local rodent population to ensure a good healthy food supply...