To Be Irish

[minir]

A Man was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.

Paddy ordered a whiskey.

The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen wh***s than let liquor touch my lips!"

Paddy handed his drink back and said


"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"


-----

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.

The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"


Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane!"


-----

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off.
I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts

"I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!"

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.


"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.


-----


Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says

"You know what I want, don't you?"


"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"

-----

Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. Prison Service for not servicing the electric chair.


He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!


-----

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.

A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said


"I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"


-----

minir

[YeOldeStonecat]

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says

"You know what I want, don't you?"


"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"

-----

Hah...good one!
Evenin'n Larry.

[minir]

Hah...good one!
Evenin'n Larry.

---

Hi Brian

Looks like we are on our own here tonight.

Got out yesterday and gave the lawn its first cut for the year. Tomorrow i'm off to get my snow tires removed and an oil change. Hoping summer is finally here. Was a mild winter but it has dragged on & i'm more than ready to see people in shorts with smiles on their faces to replace that Winter look of Gloom we Canadians go through each year.

Hope you are enjoying decent weather their as well?

Take care

Larry

[YeOldeStonecat]

Got out yesterday and gave the lawn its first cut for the year. Tomorrow i'm off to get my snow tires removed and an oil change. Hoping summer is finally here. Was a mild winter but it has dragged on & i'm more than ready to see people in shorts with smiles on their faces to replace that Winter look of Gloom we Canadians go through each year.

Hope you are enjoying decent weather their as well?

Similar here Larry.....very mild winter...Jan and Feb actually had some short sleeve weather....continuing into March and early April...unusually warm, and no rain. End of April, and into May here...mostly rain rain rain..and colder than normal. Some warm days sprinkled in here and there...bringing out the women jogging in their shorts and tank tops...easy on the eyes indeed!

Tonight I am going to mow the lawn for the 3rd time this season...it's growing like mad.

Wanted to get oil changed in my truck this past weekend...didn't get to it though. Guess an evening this week will have to do. 7 quarts worth in that HEMI engine.

As I was pouring my first cup of coffee this morning...a Hummingbird was buzzing around looking in the windows...hovering about, looking for some flowers bearing nectar.

A trip to NYC this weekend with the wife to see a Yankees game...a client of mine gave us tickets to their suite at Yankee Stadium.

[minir]

Sounds like a fun weekend my friend. When coming in with an armful of groceries on Fri as i walked up my steps into the house a beautiful coloured butterfly flew by, i was shocked to see one this early. Strange winter indeed.

7 Qts is a lot. Me 4 1/2. I use Castrol Syntec though and its a little pricey but well worth it. Easier starts in winter, little help in milage as well. Been using synthetic for over 25 yrs i guess now. God Bless WalMart for very good prices.

Slotted for 4 days of rain starting today. We all know that means the grass will need cutting again by next weekend. Damn!

Have a wonderful day Brian & don't drink too many of those pricey beers at the game.

---

regards

Larry

[mnosteele52]

Those are great Larry, needed a good laugh this morning.

[minir]

Those are great Larry, needed a good laugh this morning.

---

Good Morning mnosteele, pleased you had a chuckle. I've always been a believer that a day without laughter is a lousy day.

Nothing brings me more pleasure than a smile or a laugh. The combo really gets me going.

Have a terrific week

---
minir